Yup. EXPIRED.
Doctoring for infertility can be somewhat addicting. Stopping treatments can feel like you're giving up on your dream. It can feel like you're throwing in the towel when maybe....just maybe.....the next one would be the one! The appointments had become a staple in my calendar. The meds were part of my daily routine. The nurses had become my friends. The emotional roller coaster was all part of the routine. I had become the poster child for infertility. There was a time when I was very much OK with all aspects of the "doctor drama." I identified with my cause and I felt passionate about allowing this journey to consume me.
I no longer feel that way.
At all.
Someone once told me....."you'll know when you're done...." Patrick and I couldn't agree faster or more sincerely on anything in our lives. We're done with doctors for a long while...maybe forever....maybe not. We aren't making any definite decisions except this one: It is time to quiet the journey (doctors, adoption, all of it), and, simply.....freely.....live our lives.
We know that there are so many who are cheering us on - believing in our miracle - joining us in the journey. We appreciate that more than words can express. We know that our friends and family want what is best for us - and right now - this is definitely what is best for the Van Osdels. :) Life is way too short to live in the "what ifs." We are living in the "now" and I can't even explain how good it feels.
Keep in mind that we are absolutely not....never....EVER.....giving up on our dream of becoming parents. We know God works miracles everyday and we believe that regardless of what we are doing, He continues to work behind the scenes on our behalf. I found this devotion incredibly encouraging. It quite accurately reflects Patrick and I's mindset. It just may inspire others, too - enjoy!
Take Off the Limits
TODAY’S SCRIPTURE
“I have seen that everything [human] has its limits and end [no matter how extensive, noble, and excellent]; but Your commandment is exceedingly broad and extends without limits [into eternity]”
(Psalm 119:96, AMP)
(Psalm 119:96, AMP)
TODAY’S WORD from Joel and Victoria
Did you know you can actually limit your life by dwelling on the wrong things? So often, wrong thinking keeps people stuck right where they are. If you think you’ll never accomplish your dreams, then your life will follow your thoughts. If you think you don’t have the talent, the connections or the funds, then you are limiting yourself. We have to remember that God’s promises are forever settled in heaven. His Word stands true throughout all eternity!
Don’t limit what God can do in your life by focusing only on what you see in the natural realm. You have to realize that you serve a supernatural God, and just because you don’t see a way doesn’t mean that God doesn’t have a way. God can bring one opportunity across your path that will thrust you to a whole new level. He has explosive blessings in store that can blast you out of where you are and into a place of abundance. If you’ll shift your focus from this earthly realm and start looking at God’s supernatural realm, you’ll see His unlimited possibilities for your future. Take the limits off by setting your thoughts on what He can do in your life today!
***
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up
where I intended to be.
~Douglas Adams
4 comments:
What awesome perspective the two of you have. I never realized how much I had identified with that persona too, until I saw it written in your blog. God is good, and may this be your best Thanksgiving yet :)
Once you make that decision and stick to it, it is so freeing! It will be fun to rediscover who you are without the Dr's, meds, and the worrying. Yeah, there are times when you will still feel the sense of failure or feel you are inadequate. BUT, knowing that you are back in control again and not having to poke yourself with those darn needles is a great feeling! I think that there are many of us out there who know exactly where you have been, know where you are now, and have a hope-filled future!
Beth, I am sitting in a coffee shop and should be editing photos but decided to head over to your blog b/c I hadn't caught up since your trip to DC. So, I just read this... I am glad that you feel freeing b/c as you have shared it has been a big weight on your shoulders. I am proud of you and love you!!!
Dear Beth, it has been sometime since I have ventured to your blog... and I just now read about your fertility break... I know this was a very difficult decision for you and your spouse to make... one that most can't even begin to understand... I wish you and your spouse much peace and happiness during this time... and I know when the time is right, you and your husband will be blessed with a beautiful family... I want to share a verse that I have written on a post it on my desk so that everyday even in the darkest of days, helped me...... I sought the Lord and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.. Psalm 34:4. Take care of yourself during the holidays...
Gretchen Spier
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