To Share or Not to Share

Not everyone dealing with infertility wants to share their journey with the world. This should come as NO surprise. I've found that many are willing to share after the fact, but during the struggle, it can be embarrassing, hurtful and even impossible to put this journey into words...especially when caught off guard.

I've found that sharing through this blog is the easiest way for me.

There are a few of us out there who need to share the journey. I've seen many other bloggers who post their stories of infertility for the world to read. I'm not sure what possesses us to do so, but, for me, it is the only way to go.

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I'm very lucky to have an amazingly strong support system that surrounds me daily. From family to friends to co-workers and email buddies, I am SO thankful for the daily support they offer. I fear if I didn't share our story, I would be miserably alone. As most can imagine, I don't fair well with isolation.

I fully respect those who desire privacy with this topic. It is a very private journey. I completely understand why most of my friends on a similar journey choose to dodge the questions when asked about starting a family or getting pregnant. There are many reasons for doing so and I respect them all. I guess maybe those ladies are stronger than I am - I couldn't do it alone.

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For those on a journey of their own (any journey, really) who might be wondering if they should share their struggle or keep quiet, here are several reasons I choose to share in this manner:

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1. It allows me to update friends and family when I'm comfortable and on my own terms.

2. It gives us more people to pray for us!

3. It lets my friends and family know when I might need some extra love, care or (yikes!)patience. :)

4. I want to teach people about infertility.

5. I do not know how to be quiet. It must be my Italian blood. (If you knew my grandma Eleanor, you'd be smiling right now...she hasn't been quiet a minute in her entire life).

6. People are able to offer support because they know what's going on during my tough times. (Thanks, Jaime, for the awesome surprise in my mailbox this week. It literally brought me to tears. Laurie, your thoughtfulness is beyond words. I appreciate the kind gestures more than you know!)

7. I don't have to be in a position to be asked uncomfortable questions. My computer never asks. If someone does, I offer them the blog and thank them for caring about Patrick and I. It works well for me.

8. I find sharing very therapeutic.

9. When I post my blog, I don't have to share a story, outcome or result 900 times to those who care.

10. People are MUCH more sensitive to me when they have a glimpse into our world.

11. I'm learning to own this journey more and more with each post.

12. Re-reading old posts is therapeutic for me. I do it often.

13. When our journey is resolved, I will have a story to share our children about how much they were loved and wanted even before they were born...and I will have a recording of this miracle as it unfolds.

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Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh!" he whispered. "Yes, Piglet?" "Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw. "I just wanted to be sure of you." ~A.A. Milne